Hack Your Wedding

I'm in the beginning stages of planning my wedding and I just love the message in this article! I think sometimes we get wrapped up in what "society" thinks we should do and force feeds us! But it's such a wonderful time and you are so right...it should be enjoyed not completely stressed over! I just love the new Etsy Wedding!! It came at the perfect time for me! Cheers to a fabulous DIY wedding! :)

This article should be recommended reading for every engaged couple! More expensive is not better. Figure out what is important to you and let your wedding reflect your personality and values! I think more couples are using the wedding celebration as a personal expression, instead of "only" a traditional rite of passage. Putting their hearts into it, so to speak. Lovely :)

This is a great article. It is totally doable to have the wedding of your dreams without going into long term debt. Paper flowers are the perfect answer to the enormous cost of fresh flowers. The bonus is you get to enjoy them for years to come.

Such great suggestions, many I used in my own wedding last September! Totally agree, high cost does not always equal high result! Great perspective!! :) Plus, love to see brides supporting handmade and the talent in the wedding industry on Etsy! We work so hard to make your vision come to life for that moment in your day!

Spreed the word! your wedding does not need to break the bank. Even for the not so crafty, like myself, we have Etsy so shop and be inspired by. My advice, It is your wedding so make it yours. Before I make a wedding purchase I ask myself, Does this give me bang for the buck? Every vendor here at Etsy has helped me realize my vision . I am so thankful for them. Nothing could replace that experience.

This article is so cool ! so many useful tips! I got engaged on 11/11/11 me, and my chubby are planning to get married next year.. Gosh there's so many choices. and I totally agree, high cost does not always equal good quality! By the way, I adore Gold Finger Print Wedding Ring !!! what an original idea!

I'm really sorry to burst your bubble, but the entire Wedding Industry is NOT in a conspiracy to rip you off! Any of you. Some of us are trying very hard to keep our small businesses running in the middle of a major economic depression by NOT ripping you off or having our work outsourced overseas. The materials involved in making a real Wedding Gown are not cheap and can average $300-1000. wholesale. Add 50 to 100 hours of labor on top of that (what's your hourly rate?) and that's the final total. That girl from NPR and her childishly naiive report about cost is totally disrespectful to anyone who works for years to learn a dying craft and is trying to make an above poverty living doing it. It's called Retail Math: your car, your house, and everything in it is structured on the cost of Materials + Labor + Mark Up of whoever sells it to you. For her next story she should try and learn a CRAFT and then be expected to make a LIVING doing it!

Totally agree with Harper from SEAMS. Does Etsy REALLY uphold true craftsmanship values?? Mixed message!!

Ditto Harper from SEAMS! Most people rarely stop to think of the years it takes to learn a craft. The cost of the materials, the time involved. Not just in fashion, not just in the wedding industry but in all things handcrafted.

We were very aware of how much a semi-traditional, semi-DIY wedding would cost...and hired experts where they were needed, but I took on as much of the craft - creation myself as I could. (And there were many rewards...not only did we have a budget wedding in the metro-NYC area, but my creations led to my Etsy shop. : ) My advice: Do what you can and what you will enjoy creating and sharing with those you love...but don't drive yourself crazy trying to take on every part of the wedding yourself, especially if you don't think you have the skills, time, or patience. I know firsthand that paying someone else to create or do something for you can save your sanity. And if you prefer unique, handmade items to big box store wedding items, Etsy is the place to find them. : )

While I agree that parts of a wedding can be hacked (so long as the couple have the skills and resources to do so), I would be skittish about blanket recommending people to hack major elements to their celebration. It would be a disaster in the making to host a wedding at someone's house, particularly if there isn't enough bathrooms to accommodate the number of guests. The last thing you want to do is have the septic system blow up on the day of your event. And even if you rent portajohns, your guests will not want to use it, especially if they're dressed in party wear. You want your guests to be comfortable and enjoy the event. Paying professionals for your wedding doesn't necessarily mean that you're "throwing money at a problem." This is a celebration that is meant to be shared with your closest family and friends, which means that you are valuing the time, money and effort it takes to create an event for your loved ones to remember. The misnomer that the wedding industry pushes the most expensive options as the only ones that work, is misleading. Wedding industry professionals promote the options that work for each couple and their budget. Is the marketing sometimes aspirational? Yes, but how many industries aren't? To lay claim that all vendors in the industry are out to get you is spreading a fallacy that is irresponsible and ultimately damaging to even those who own wedding related shops on Etsy. Yes, couples can DIY aspects of their wedding in an effort to save money, but not everyone is crafty enough to sew their own dress, or tech savvy enough to create their own playlist, or purchase amps that are the right size for the location without blowing a fuse, or talented enough to bake their own cake without giving everyone food poisoning. Worse part of it is, this article makes it seem okay that for the couple to think that the engagement period becomes all about bargain hunting, and endless days of DIY projects, rather than enjoying the moments leading up to their day their profess their love and commitment for each other.

Now that I'm six months out from my wedding, I can see both sides of the issue. my husband and I had a very strict budget to follow to ensure that we were not going to be in debt at the end of the adventure. We spent our money where it mattered the most to us. Where did we hack it? We made our own table arrangements, our own invitations, and all the bouquets and boutonnieres. Where did we not? We shopped around and found very reputable vendors that were willing to work with our price points for the venue, cake, and music. Having done all that we were able to do things like buy the groom's tux, have a couture wedding dress, and splurge on the incredible catering. Yes, I was fortunate to have my dress made for me - a Vintage Vogue tea length dream in silk dupioni. Without the friends and family discount, it would have been well over a thousand dollars, more even if it had been full length with a complicated design. I treasure my unique dress and I'm so glad that I had it made for me. I used Etsy almost exclusively to find those unique pieces that you just can't find at the box stores. The bridal party loved the custom made glasses I bought from MaryElizabethArts and bluesugarbridal's silk flower was the perfect addition to my dress. My hair piece was custom designed for me by Crystaldust and just perfect for me and our wedding rings came from TitaniumRingsStudio. And to this day, I wish I had purchased my crinoline from SwankUnderpinnings as I spent just as much money on two crinolines and both are not what I wanted. I believe the focus of the article is to show the bride that there are options. Spend your money where it matters most to you, not where societal pressures tell you to spend it. This way you can get the wedding you want without feeling like you have mortgaged your life away. And in the end, isn't the whole point of the day is to celebrate your new life together in happiness and joy - not worrying that you can't afford the event.

Even though our wedding was way back in '89, the principals of wedding hacking were the same then. We looked at our budget and worked with what we had. Sometimes an unexpected expense comes up when you hack. Our wedding was at a local historical Rancho outside of Los Angeles and we didn't expect the need for a public gathering permit from the city (which I would warn all local brides about), but if the venue is below your budgeted cost and it doesn't kick it over, you still have a win in picking it. They had a beautiful rose garden and a building to move the ceremony into in case it rained (though in May, the chances of that were way out there). Another interesting thing I have noticed recently is that the big wedding shows are suffering. I helped out at a local wedding show in Orange County, CA last November and attendance was pathetically small even though it was at the Anaheim Convention Center (a HUGE venue) and the wedding dress fashion show was done by a major dress retailer. More and more brides are going the route of their budget and are becoming wise to those who want them to part with all their money and have nothing left over for the wedding. This is good for us Etsy sellers, so be sure to do the best for our customers and give them the beautiful wedding they deserve while still coming in our THEIR budget, not our sales goals.

It truly seems like you are trying to perpetuate the myth that using the word "wedding" when looking at vendors means an automatic price increase. In reality, that statement could not be further from the truth. A wedding takes more time, more talent and more work that just dropping off a sheet cake from a grocery store and calling it good. A DJ isn't just there to push play. They emcee the event, they make the call when a song clears the dance floor to change the song. They keep things on track and on time. It takes skills, time and money to run an iPod wedding. You have to have an understanding of speaker size to room size and attendance. You have to know how to fade a song. And if no one is allowed to touch the iPod the chances of a floor clearing song played at the wrong time grow exponentially. Between the cost of the songs, the time spent working the lists, the speakers, sound board and other items needed to wire it yourself and taking time out of getting ready to test it all in the space you would have saved money hiring a DJ. Self catering? Not at most venues that value their licenses. The liability is too great. And if you think it will cut down on the work - try it. Stand there in your pretty white dress and dish up food as you replate it, then run around serving it, then go back through and clear the plates. You might get a bite before you need to rinse all those items you had to rent to serve it so that you can pack it back up to return it. Not to mention keeping the food at the correct temperatures, storing it properly and don't forget to take out the trash. Planning to pass it off onto family and friends? Classy!! Invite them to a wedding reception and then work them to death in their party clothes. Spend the first two hours of your marriage feeding your guests or enjoying your wedding reception? There is nothing wrong with "hacking" if you are doing it to add a special element to your wedding that you have the skills and talent to pull off. But to spend countless hours (which are part of the cost of having a pro perform the same job/service) and money on materials and equipment (and it doesn't matter if you will use it after the wedding, it still counts as an expense for the wedding) to "save" money because the big bad wedding industry is out to get you, is just silly. Not one person in the industry is out to get anyone. To do a fair and accurate comparison of "hack" to pro you have to calculate everything - materials, labor, electricity, internet usage, research time, all costs of every single item that you use to make it, create it, design it. You will have spent more in the long run than if you had just had a reasonable budget, shopped within that budget and been able to actually enjoy your engagement, wedding and reception.

I quit my 'day job' years ago so now that means I'm 'ripping off' my clients? If I were doing that I would actually be able to go on a vacation for the first time in 6 years. My Landlord is definitely ripping me off, so is my Dentist, the phone company, and the Grocery Store. It's like a conspiracy...

I have been in the wedding business for years and we do not decieve our customers. Matter of fact, we provide the expertise and services you will never find online on a website that may not even exist. We have absolutely no control on how much we have to pay for our inventory as this is determined by the Designers. We just don't pull these prices out of a "haystack". You need to do more research on this subject matter before you hang all Bridal Professionals whether it be a Bridal Salon, photgrapher, Event planner...things cost money. It is what it is...and what it is not a conspiracy...

Hi All, I wanted to point out a few things. First: use Etsy artists is my very first tip here, and I very specifically suggest that spending your money on working artists (and paying them well) is something you should really consider doing. So am I on board with Etsy artists and craftsmanship? A resounding hell yes. Second, I obviously didn't write or research the NPR story, I just linked to it, but it's very important to point out that that story is specifically about mass produced dresses, and the way that major industry prices mass produced wedding dresses ABOVE what they would price the exact same dress, if it were not in white, and not a wedding dress. A very different piece could have been done about the problems of mass production, and the way that fair wages are not paid to workers, but that wasn't this particular story. I think, however, that mass market practices are exactly why it's much smarter (and more ethical) to put your money towards working artists, and pay them fair wages. And finally, I just want to differentiate here between the big business wedding industry (that's the huge corporate conglomerates) and small business owners. I run a business that is, of course, part of the wedding industry, just the indie wedding industry. I work with hundreds of small business owners who are doing amazingly hard work, making livings as artists, and not ripping of their clients. That's a very different ball of wax from major wedding magazines and enormous wedding dress producers and the like. I've worked with The Big Wedding Industry closely, and I *don't* think they have couples best interests in mind. They are not out to make and sell art, but are instead out to make a profit in any way possible (up to and including making you feel badly about your wedding, and not paying people fair wages). Hint: if you're not publicly traded, you're probably not in that group. I'm a working artist myself, with a BFA, who supports herself as a writer, and runs a business that allows wedding vendors and artists to support themselves doing what they love. I'm passonate about that. However, while supporting working artists is one of the driving values of my life, I still don't think couples should feel pressure to spend money in ways that make them uncomfortable. We can always do more with less. Hope that helps! Meg

I agree with Harper and several other pros who've taken the time to post here. I am a wedding officiant in NJ/NY. I often hear the comment, "Oh geez, that much money for only 20 minutes?" Truth is, the 20 minutes of the ceremony is embedded in close to 10-12 hours of work, from the first phone call until the license is mailed and tracked. My colleagues, in all areas of the 'wedding business' try to do the best work we can to create celebrations that express our couples and celebrate their day. We don't charge more "because it's a wedding". We charge what we do to make it possible for us to earn a living providing the services we do. This notion that wedding pros delight in ripping couples off is a problematic and largely false one. There are many, many ways to have unique weddings that express the personality of the couples involved; sometimes DIY projects are the answer (not if you've never done anything for yourself ever probably...). Sometimes the answer is brutally cutting the guest list. Sometimes the answer lies in between DIY and 'hire the most expensive pro in the area". My point is that to remain in business, wedding pros need referrals from former clients and other pros, and to do that we need to provide great value for our couples' dollars, not randomly charge them whatever we feel we can.

Some DIY is fine if you have the ability to pull it off. But when it comes to certain aspects of your wedding (the most important day of your life) it might be best to trust in a professional. Focus on the things that are the most important, the ones you couldn't imagine your wedding without. Those definitely should be trusted to a professional. The other elements that are least important DIY those. Very simple!

I actually give brides a discount when ordering tiaras or hair clip sets from me for their bridal party. Because I know how much wedding expenses add up, and want to be the one who gives them a break! And word-of-mouth advertising is the best kind.

Please don't lump all wedding vendors together. It would be like saying all bloggers are nothing more than failed journalism wannabees. We certainly wouldn't want to do that. Business is and always has been about making a profit. Sorry if that offends the OP, but that's business. Those of us who do it successfully year after year manage to keep a balance between charging the right price and delivering the right quality to the most customers. As for your dress, innovation costs money. Being the first with the newest design is a struggle. It's like writing the perfect sentence. The best writers agonize over every comma, every word, every phrase. It's the difference between Ulysses and a trashy romance novel. Finally, anyone who thinks we're "all" in it strictly for the money is ignoring all the charity work we do. There's Wish Upon A Wedding and other charitable organizations built around weddings. Plus, a lot of us donate time, money, and resources to others. I donate time and resources to my local performing arts programs. So please, before you make blanket statements about "all" wedding vendors, do some research.

Kinda wondering why some people are getting so angry. How did they pass over this paragraph that Meg wrote in the article? "Not to be super obvious here, but Etsy is pretty much the first place to go when you feel like the wedding industry wants all your cash. We got our wedding rings here, but there are also the world’s best invitations, wedding dresses, decorations, and just about anything else you need. The prices tend to be great, but more to the point, there is nothing like supporting independent artists to calm wedding panic." I happen to read Meg's blog, which is supported with ads from independent wedding professionals. Meg has recommended tons of wedding professionals on her blog and constantly recommends going to Etsy for a handmade wedding dress. She also constantly says that creative professionals deserve their fees. People are misunderstanding this article, plus the whole NPR dress link was about a mass-produced dress made in China, NOT an Etsy dress.

I get angry when wedding professionals are slammed for trying to make a profit by opening and running businesses. Everyone who makes a bridal product or sells a bridal service is part of the 'wedding industry'. No one is more virtuous or evil than someone else. Artisanal producers may suit your style or budget more accurately than a big brand, but please stop criticizing vendors for trying to make a living. People write books to make a profit too. People sell blog space to make a profit. Making a profit is one of the things that allows us to give back to organizations like WUW; it allows us to live our dreams and bring creativity and excitement to the lives of our clients. That deserves a fair price and respect.