While it may feel at times like the weight of planning your wedding rests solely on your shoulders — even if you’ve got a super-involved partner or a professional coordinator to help — in the end, it takes a whole team of supporting players to bring the day to life. So when you’re drawing up your big-day budget, keep in mind the many friends, family members, and scene-setting specialists who have helped along the way. From your bridesmaids to your banquet manager, these are the people you should thank, whether it’s with a meaningful gift or a cash tip.
How much you spend is entirely subjective, of course, and the following suggestions are meant as guidelines, not hard-and-fast rules. One note: Some vendors include a gratuity charge in their contracts, so make sure to read those carefully to avoid double-tipping — because nobody’s got the budget for that.
Gifting 101: What to give – and when
1. Bridesmaids and Groomsmen
What to give: Search for items that speak to your years of shared friendship, not just your own personal milestone, such as a scent that evokes your annual girls-only vacation destination or art inspired by the book you first bonded over or the movie you all quote the most. Or consider a classic gift with a custom twist — keepsake jewelry with each bridesmaid’s birthstone, or a dopp kit embroidered with your favorite inside-joke acronym. While there’s no magic number for what to spend, a present in the range of $50 to $100 usually does the trick. If, however, your attendants are shelling out extra for a designer dress or buying pricey plane tickets to get to your wedding, consider upping your budget.
When to give it: At your rehearsal dinner, it’s customary to give a toast thanking your crew while handing out their gifts. Alternately, if you’re having a bridal luncheon the day or two before your vows, you can present the gifts then.
Bare and Me personalized charm necklace, $68; buy it here.
Willow and Honey Crystal Soap, $7.50; buy it here.
Christina Nicole bronze and turquoise hair pin, $85; buy it here.
Felix Street Studio personalized dopp kit, $65; buy it here.
The Print Design Studio Hemingway poster, $20 and up; buy it here.
Zoni Wear bamboo sunglasses, $45; buy it here.
2. Maid of Honor and Best Man
What to give: Because both your and your fiancé’s VIPs go the extra mile — she usually plans your bridal shower and bachelorette party, and he handles the stag party — you should put a little more effort (and cash) into their gifts. Whether that’s an upgraded version of what everyone else gets (gold instead of silver, say) or a separate gift entirely, make it meaningful, memorable, and ever-so-slightly indulgent.
When to give it: At the same time you dole out the other attendants’ gifts.
Evy Jo & Co vegan bath set, $84; buy it here.
Choice Cuts Apple Watch leather band kit, $95; buy it here.
3. Flower Girls and Ring Bearers
What to give: Unless you’re buying their outfits for the day — which can double as their gifts, too — a present that’s worth between $25 and $50 is fine.
When to give it: On the day of the wedding, especially if it’s an activity, game, or toy that will keep them occupied during the more adult moments of the reception.
Sew Mice personalized flower girl doll, $31; buy it here.
Earth Grown Crayons handmade dinosaur crayons, $12 for four; buy it here.
4. Ushers
What to give: They might not be in the same formal get-up as the groomsmen, but ushers are still instrumental in helping your day go off without a hitch, and you should thank them for that. You don’t need to spend as much as you would on groomsmen; a small token worth around $20 will do the job.
When to give it: At the rehearsal or at the dinner afterward.
Done Better personalized wooden bottle openers, $37.50 for a set of five; buy it here.
Craftsman Soap Co beard care kit (beer soap and hops beard oil), $25; buy it here.
5. Parents
What to give: You can’t put a price tag on sentiment. In this case, it’s truly the thought that counts. So the first order is to take time to think about what would best express your appreciation for the people who raised you. Then take a look at your budget and spend what you’re able.
When to give it: In the few days or hours before the wedding. The gifts can be from both of you, or from the groom to his parents and from you to yours.
Ms Spanner mother of the groom handkerchief, $18.50; buy it here.
Sew Happy Girls father of the bride custom tie patch, $35; buy it here.
6. Each Other
What to give: As you’ve probably realized by now, there’s not a lot about wedding planning, with all its spreadsheets and contracts, that’s romantic. This is your chance to insert a little passion into the process, by surprising him or her with a timeless, meaningful gift. How much you spend does not matter, but if it helps you shop smarter, the two of you can agree on a limit beforehand.
When to give it: Exchanging presents the night before the wedding — especially if you’re spending it apart — ups the romance factor.
Reclamation Etchworks decanters, $59 each or a set of four for $199; buy it here.
Sarah Trumbauer handcut paper art, $145; buy it here.
Tipping 101: What to tip – and when
1. Officiant
What to tip: If you’re getting married in a church or synagogue, a donation to the house of worship is standard; plan on at least $100 (or up to $500 if you’re a member of the congregation). If you’d like to give beyond that amount, a gift card of $50 to $100 for the priest or rabbi is totally acceptable, as some ministers are uncomfortable with being given cash. If you’ve booked a nondenominational officiant that you’re already paying a fee, consider a tip in the neighborhood of $75. And if the officiant is a civil servant, like a county clerk, no tip is expected — and laws prohibit them from accepting cash.
When to tip: Make the donation when you pay the ceremony fee (usually before the wedding); have the best man hand the tip or gift card to the officiant at the rehearsal dinner, or at the rehearsal itself if he or she isn’t attending the dinner.
2. Ceremony Musicians
What to tip: If musicians are provided by the church, no tip is necessary. Otherwise, an optional tip of $15 to $25 per musician is fine.
When to tip: Have the best man (or another trustworthy person you’ve appointed beforehand) distribute tips in envelopes immediately after the ceremony.
When to tip: Apply the tip to the total when you pay for the service.
Paper Lux Stationery custom stamp, $24; buy it here.
3. Hairstylist and Makeup Artist
What to tip: The people you’ve hired to help you look your best for your wedding should be tipped just as if you’d stepped into their salon on a normal day. In other words, expect to give 15 to 20 percent of the total.
4. Food and Beverage Staff
What to tip: First, check your contracts to make sure gratuity isn’t already included. If not, tip the banquet manager 15 to 20 percent of the total bill to share with the kitchen and waitstaff. Tip bartenders 10 percent of the total alcohol bill to split among themselves.
When to tip: When you pay your final bill, usually before the reception. Otherwise, designate someone to hand over an envelope at the end of the night.
5. Wedding Planner
What to tip: A cash tip or a gift of equal value is appropriate, but either is completely optional. If you felt like he or she went above and beyond for you, aim for something in the $500 range.
When to tip: Ask your maid of honor to hand her an envelope at the end of the reception, or send a thank-you note with a check soon after the wedding.
Print Stitch and Post thank-you cards, $10 for 8; buy it here.
6. Photographer, Videographer, Florist, and Wedding Coordinator
What to tip: If he or she owns the business, no gratuity is expected. If, on the other hand, you’ve worked with one employee in a larger organization, an optional tip, as always, will be appreciated. For photo and video pros and florists, tip $50 to $75. For wedding coordinators, double that amount.
When to tip: You can tip them at the reception, or send thank-you cards with a tip after the wedding.
7. Band and DJ
What to tip: Tipping these pros is optional but more common than not. If you’re in the giving spirit, tip each band member $20 to $25 and the DJ $75 to $125.
When to tip: At the end of the reception — while you’re still humming the last tune.
Starboard Press thank-you card, $4.50; buy it here.
8. Site Staff and Transportation
What to tip: If you’ve hired valets, coat-room attendants, and limo or bus drivers, a cash tip is customary if it’s not covered in the contract. Plan to shell out $1 per guest for coat room attendants and $1 per car for valets. For drivers, that amount jumps to 18 percent of the total bill.
When to tip: This is another job that’s ideal for the best man or other individual you’ve designated to dole out tips. He should distribute envelopes with tips at the end of the night.
9. Delivery People
What to tip: Slip $5 or $10 to anyone delivering to or setting up items at the venue (think the wedding cake, furniture rentals, tents, and sound systems).
When to tip: Drop off envelopes with tips to your caterer or venue manager the day before setup, and they can divvy up the tips when they accept the deliveries.
67 comments
Snazzy Living from Snazzyliving said 4 years ago
love the personalized wooden bottle openers
Sue from SuesAkornShop said 4 years ago
What great info!
Christina from TheWildPlum said 4 years ago
Wonderful suggestions and shops.
Megan from MegansMenagerie said 4 years ago
Love this!
LivingVintage from LivingVintage said 4 years ago
Fab ideas and shops! Thanks.
Nicole from KarmaCodeOne said 4 years ago
Artistic ideas filled with sentiment and love !
AnitasPottery.com from potterybyAnita said 4 years ago
Gorgeous picks and ideas for "the Big Day!" I've recently added some lovely personalized Wedding Favors to my shop, too. I really enjoy being a part of the excitement of special occasions like this! ♥♥♥
DecadesOfVintage from DecadesOfVintage said 4 years ago
A very beautiful and thoughtful blog post! Thanks so much.
Ujjayi Boutique from Ujjayiboutique said 4 years ago
well done & wedding season is coming soon
Francine from HomespunHeartofMine said 4 years ago
Great article, Jaime!!! Thanks for sharing some great information and giving such inspiration for unique "thank you" gifts!!! :D
Sally from SallysVintageKitchen said 4 years ago
Great advice and wonderful gift ideas!
Lertpan Pathamavuthikan from orientaltribe11 said 4 years ago
Great idea.
Jen Frisch from TimetheftEmpire said 4 years ago
Very helpful information!
Jennifer Serene from ViennaIsLove said 4 years ago
Great information! Lovely items!
Helen Harwood from FatBerry said 4 years ago
Beautiful selection, great ideas! Thank you for sharing
Charmed Coast Jewelry from CharmedCoastJewelry said 4 years ago
Gorgeous gifts! I will be keeping these things in mind for the near future! Thank you Jaime!
Slavica from AmazingPink said 4 years ago
Great ideas.
Alex Dexter from SEwqgq said 4 years ago
So beautiful...
Chen Xiaojun from SamgharamaStudio said 4 years ago
Exquisite and beautiful.
hq handmade from HQhandmade said 4 years ago
Such a beautiful guide...thank you for including all the little details that are simple to forget...great ideas! HQhandmade :)
BlueCaterpillar from LabelStickers said 4 years ago
Gorgeous items ! Outstanding feature. Thank you for posting and congratulations to all shops !
benna and hanna from bennaandhanna said 4 years ago
Wow! This is very helpful!!! Thanks for sharing!
ACR from IntoTheBluePaintShop said 4 years ago
Great post...
Renee from RandMhandmade said 4 years ago
So many great idea's...
Vin Art Store from VinArtStore said 4 years ago
Nice :)
VT from HandmadeTrend said 4 years ago
What a beautiful feature and shop. Well deserved. Congrats!
Sujata from TreasuredMemoryLane said 4 years ago
Great wedding gift ideas! Thank you for sharing.
alikat2807 said 4 years ago
Wow, missed the mark on so many things. First of all it's completely wrong to expect guests to pay their own way to attend a wedding. If they have to travel they should be compensated for that, not "tipped." That's why only wealthy people used to have destination weddings. The wedding machine has fooled people out of knowing proper etiquette. As for tipping everyone involved that's ridiculous unless you're just made of money. As a wedding planner I charge what I expect to be paid. That's also true of virtually every other wedding professional. Officiants are actually expecting less of a donation to the church if the couple are members, not more. Gifts to the wedding party members are going the way of the "wedding favors." What people appreciate is so subjective that it's best to avoid the useless gift scenario and do something like plan a fun get together either before or after the wedding, at the couple's expense of course. That's a terrific way to thank people, and much more personal. Your pictures are lovely but weddings are not supposed to invite unending expenses, and as long as I've worked weddings I've never seen wedding pros with their hands out expecting the tips you describe.
Hajira Gibb from HajiraKG said 4 years ago
Great advice and wonderful ideas. Thanks for sharing :)
Natalia from KMalinkaVintage said 4 years ago
Beautiful gift idea!
UNEMPLOYED Custom Orders Wanted USA Made Superhero Cufflinks Wedding Jewelry from boloties said 4 years ago
Beautiful collection of wedding ideas!
YOUNG from IONstudio said 4 years ago
Thanks for the gift ideas!
Bridget Miller from astronette said 4 years ago
Wow! That paper cut by Sarah Trumbauer is seriously blowing my mind!!!! Also, there is so much good advice and ideas here. Thanku : )
Laurie from BareandMe said 4 years ago
Holy Moly… Just saw this. Thank you so much for featuring our jewelry. We heart you…
Maria from StyleGraphicDesign said 4 years ago
Very interesting!!
Ernie Gerrish from InteriordecorByErnie said 4 years ago
Some great gifts and ideas. I used to do wedding photography and have seen some beautiful gifts. These and the ideas are great
Jakub Chmielniak from MrGuguMissGo said 4 years ago
Awesome!
Rasa Rabaciene from PRINTDECOstudio said 4 years ago
That is truly wonderful advice and beautiful things! :)
5erg from 5erg said 4 years ago
This was written at a very right time, thankyou!
Marijana Fraska from ArmellaMeaJewelry said 4 years ago
Awesome! Congrats for the feature!
Georgia from JewelMeShop said 4 years ago
This is an article full of great ideas! Thank you!
Madeleine Keller from ThoseGoodVibrations said 4 years ago
I had never even thought about this aspect of the wedding. These are some great suggestions, thank you!
Valentina . from Exclusive72 said 4 years ago
Great idea. Thank you!
Sharon from YearsAfter said 4 years ago
Love the wedding ideas!
marchsevenstudios from MarchSevenStudios said 4 years ago
wonderful - thump up
Deb Vasbinder from BabyCuteBaby said 4 years ago
Great informative article.
Cristy Ramos from ArtisanBathandBody said 4 years ago
Super great ideas! Love, love, love!!!
Anna Caron from SunnyBunnyCrochet said 4 years ago
Good ideas
Kalisa L. from MuchandQuick said 4 years ago
Things like this make me so glad I had a small wedding!
Kemal YLM from ShopAnarshe said 4 years ago
Beautiful items.
Donka Tsaneva from PersaBags said 4 years ago
Great article and helpful ideas! Thank you! Beautiful shops featured!
YuliaArt from ArtKaleydoskop2015 said 4 years ago
Wonderful! Thank you!
Rosita from pillowlink said 4 years ago
Nice finds! I think on Etsy there are much more interesting gifts for weddings. But these are really stylish and picked with "sharp" eye :)
Renee from RandMhandmade said 4 years ago
So many beautiful idea's!!
Jennifer from RoseAlida said 4 years ago
Great gift ideas.
decorativearts4u from a2vVintage said 4 years ago
Nice Items
Katy Allgeyer from ArtBarn said 4 years ago
Such fun classy items! No wonder the wedding market shops Etsy.
Cathy from msbijouxbeads said 4 years ago
Wonderful ideas!
Kashuen Collectibles from Kashuen said 4 years ago
I like that Apple Watch leather band kit and the handcut paper art. Beautiful choices.
Patti Trostle from PattiTrostle said 4 years ago
Great post!
Carol from MasCollected said 4 years ago
Well written guidance with wonderful gift suggestions - Thanks Jaime!
Custom Laser Engravers from CustomLaserEngravers said 4 years ago
Gorgeous picks!!
Holly and John from ZCreateDesign said 4 years ago
Great article ~ Happy to see our "thanks y'all" sign in the cover photo! Link to our store at the bottom of the story in case it was missed. :)
MissPinkRosy from LovelyPearl24 said 4 years ago
yes very beautiful Items I love them
Ilana Saadon from madebyBarDejar said 4 years ago
GORGEOUS!
Chrissy Ink Design from ScarvesChrissyInk said 4 years ago
Love the suggestions. A lovely wing scarf can make a great gift for bridesmaids too.
Sharie from BATHSUGARANBODYSPICE said 4 years ago
What a perfect line up of ideas. Thanks for sharing.