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Keep It Weird: Get Off My Lawn

Dec 16, 2011

by Michelle Traub handmade and vintage goods

Not only did I grow up without Christmas, but I was raised in a community where the norm was dumplings and a matinee on that quiet, snowy holiday, and thus traditions that most of this country takes for granted still strike me as intriguingly novel. I had my first cup of nog in college and hung my very first ornament a mere week ago. But nothing can match the starry-eyed fascination I experience when my neighborhood begins decorating the facades of their homes. Across the street, one giant, inflated, rotating snow globe glows frenetically, around the corner, clones of Mary hang from every window. We may not have much grass to call our own in Brooklyn, but the desire for outdoor decor manages to thrive regardless. Let your oddities take in some fresh air; it’s time for Keep It Weird to ornament its lawn.


Combat Garden Gnome


Custom Plastic Flamingo

Check out the Related Items below for more creatures to watch over your chrysanthemums.

Past Keep It Weird Posts

Old Man Gnome Bank or Figurine with Money Bag
Old Man Gnome Bank or Figurine with Money Bag
Vintage Towel Irish Linen Embroidered Gnome Tea Red Stripes
Vintage Towel Irish Linen Embroidered Gnome Tea Red Stripes
SocK MonKeY, "LeT's MONKEY Around," WINDCHIMES Wind Chimes  made with REcYcLeD anTiQue SILVERWARE with PoLymer Clay Sock Monkey  beads
SocK MonKeY, "LeT's MONKEY Around," WINDCHIMES Wind Chimes made with REcYcLeD anTiQue SILVERWARE with PoLymer Clay Sock Monkey beads
KEYS Wallet CELL Phone™ - reminder- The worlds most useful novelty door mat
KEYS Wallet CELL Phone™ - reminder- The worlds most useful novelty door mat
$45.00 USD


  • MegansMenagerie

    MegansMenagerie said 5 years ago

    Love the Flamingo!!!

  • jbeaudet

    jbeaudet said 5 years ago

    Wow! Your story is really interesting. I grew up with a traditional family doing all the traditional stuff. I have great memories of Christmas' past but somehow I ended up weird anyways! Thanks for sharing :)

  • KMalinka

    KMalinka said 5 years ago

    Great post!

  • Grafxquest

    Grafxquest said 5 years ago

    I will never forget seeing my first wooden garden women bent over tending the garden with her polka dotted drawers! I laughed so hard and then I looked around because I was so embarrassed...I was only 8...but have seriously stayed away from the oddities on my lawn because I will never forget that incident. However Holidays don't count! Run amok!

  • VintageEye

    VintageEye said 5 years ago

    All gnomes should be armed!

  • cartelle

    cartelle said 5 years ago

    LMAO I NEED that combat garden gnome!!!

  • ArtDecoDame

    ArtDecoDame said 5 years ago

    loving the gnome and flamingo!

  • scarletbegonia11

    scarletbegonia11 said 5 years ago

    cute post <3

  • birdie1

    birdie1 said 5 years ago

    Hilarious! Reminds me of my niece who, after beauty school, props her mannequin heads around the yard. You can see them from the kitchen peeking in the window from the outside. Still scares me.

  • originalsbyannemarie

    originalsbyannemarie said 5 years ago

    Maybe I could come up with an idea for my dressform!

  • NobleTextiles

    NobleTextiles said 5 years ago

    Ha! that gnome is hilarious!

  • VampedUpCouture

    VampedUpCouture said 5 years ago

    So Great!

  • franstradingpost

    franstradingpost said 5 years ago

    Here in NC, home of Fort Bragg, Seymore Johnson AFB, and the base at Cherry Point the Combat Gnome would be very appropriate!

  • BeatificBijoux

    BeatificBijoux said 5 years ago

    Two blocks away from mine is a house whose inhabitants think bowling balls balanced atop spray-painted coffe cans are just the thing to adorn their flower beds. They have about 20 of them.

  • BeatificBijoux

    BeatificBijoux said 5 years ago

    And no, I don't live in Baltimore, in case you were wondering.

  • melida

    melida said 5 years ago

    Oooooh, totally getting inspiration for my balcony....

  • bedouin

    bedouin said 5 years ago

    strange and beautiful ~ The Pod Ring with Birdie Perched by leandogpottery is mesmerizing

  • snotbooger

    snotbooger said 5 years ago

    i love fun yard stuff i like the stair statue and the flamingo

  • AthenasGown

    AthenasGown said 5 years ago

    Haha - Wow, I love this! Either that would attract with weirdos or keep them away! ;)

  • volkerwandering

    volkerwandering said 5 years ago


  • MomsCottage

    MomsCottage said 5 years ago

    ha! I almost spit my drink out when I saw the gnome! too funny!

  • KKSimpleRegalJewelry

    KKSimpleRegalJewelry said 5 years ago

    Very interesting!! Its fun to celebrate isn't it!! BTW Homemade eggnog is the BEST!!! ~Krista

  • offbeet

    offbeet said 5 years ago

    This one lady in my town has her lawn adorned with tubs, sinks, and toilets...oh, and a washing day the scrap guys came by to pick them and she had to chase them off her all of the appliances are chained to various trees in her yard.

  • mynameiskorrine

    mynameiskorrine said 5 years ago

    The Head print is Priceless. Love it.

  • NicoAndMooMoo

    NicoAndMooMoo said 5 years ago

    HAHAHAHAH I love these posts! the combat gnome is so funny!

  • ladyhawthorne

    ladyhawthorne said 5 years ago

    I love the garden gnome!

  • VintageLancaster

    VintageLancaster said 5 years ago

    Wow this is awesome! So glad to be included!

  • RetroRevivalBoutique

    RetroRevivalBoutique said 5 years ago

    *gigglesnort* Me likey the combat gnome! :0)

  • availdesign

    availdesign said 5 years ago

    I like the lady's HEAD from the neonmatisse!

  • availdesign

    availdesign said 5 years ago

    Great lady's Head from neonmatisse!

  • silverlily786

    silverlily786 said 5 years ago

    A HA HA HA HA HA "sigh" Hilarious.

  • LoveMeOrnamentals

    LoveMeOrnamentals said 5 years ago

    Oh my! I love the gnome and Im thrilled I was featured! YAY!

  • volson1

    volson1 said 5 years ago

    I love the Garden Gnome... love it!

  • accentonvintage

    accentonvintage said 5 years ago

    Love to see lawn ornaments!

  • damngooddoormats

    damngooddoormats said 5 years ago

    My first Etsy blog! Thanks for including my doormat!

  • elizasteindesigns

    elizasteindesigns said 5 years ago

    I'm a lifelong city dweller, so a lawn is such exotic terrain to me. If I had one, I'm sure I'd stuff it full of gnomes, flamingos, and maybe a scarecrow just for the heck of it.

  • vinskord

    vinskord said 5 years ago

    Great stuff!! Love the combat gnome!!

  • peshka

    peshka said 5 years ago

    Ha ha..Cool!

  • FullCircleRetro

    FullCircleRetro said 5 years ago


  • Ficurinia

    Ficurinia said 5 years ago

    Reminds me of some of the folks who will be at our Christmas Eve dinner this year. Many of them never celebrated Christmas ever and were so excited when we started to invite them over for non-traditional gourmet meals with no children—anywhere! Just a lot of really drunk grown-ups!!! Coming from a traditionally Catholic background it was kind of great to reinvent the holiday with my husband since we also have no kids. No more Mommy Dearest from my mom and dad and way more La Dolce Vita! (In my other life I have a garden store here on etsy and I LOVE LOVE LOVE non-traditional yard decor. Thanks for thinking of this right now.)

  • JennasRedRhino

    JennasRedRhino said 5 years ago

    This stuff is much more exciting than the broken vehicles, abandoned snow-gos, wood piles and 500 gallon oil tanks that populate the yards of rural Alaska where I grew up (nobody has lawns there).

  • EphemeraAndMore

    EphemeraAndMore said 5 years ago

    LOVE keep it weird! Always fun and inspirational! Great story too!

  • FolkArtByDawn

    FolkArtByDawn said 5 years ago

    I like to decorate my yard too I get some odd looks

  • AlisaDesign

    AlisaDesign said 5 years ago

    Cool!!! :)

  • mark13148

    mark13148 said 5 years ago

    Very cool!

  • AMSkrafts

    AMSkrafts said 5 years ago

    Wow, the flamingo is wonderful! Reminds me of Dia de Los Muertes skulls. Very nice!

  • casualtatter

    casualtatter said 5 years ago

    AHAAHAAHAAHAA1 LOVE the garden gnome! He's just terrific!


    PAYSMAGE said 5 years ago

    Love the Bird House Clown !

  • joankelley

    joankelley said 5 years ago

    I'd like a Gnome but dressed in a Navy uniform!

  • SchneiderGallery

    SchneiderGallery said 5 years ago

    Fun as usual hehe, but I love bird bath print and ring most!

  • stormboli

    stormboli said 5 years ago

    I love seeing the New Brunswick, Canada flag :) Where exactly was the top photo taken? I'm from New Brunswick living i NY, I haven't gotten my flag hung yet! This post also reminds me that I need to grab my half lady next time I am home haha.

  • knitfitt

    knitfitt said 5 years ago

    I want that tea towel. Great post.

  • thecityfolklore

    thecityfolklore said 5 years ago

    Hilarious stuff! In Europe people don't go to those extremes, but probably because space isn't abundant. I wonder what some houses secretly stash, though!

  • BarnshopAntiques

    BarnshopAntiques said 5 years ago

    Lol, l enjoy your posts. Happy Holidays

  • princessjainascloset

    princessjainascloset said 5 years ago

    My grandmother had the half-lady with drawers in her garden a fair distance from the road... until family and neighbours starting honking as they drove by thinking Nan was out picking strawberries.

  • Gamut

    Gamut said 5 years ago

    I am shocked that etsy doesn't have a mass of homeade whirly gig makers.Standard yard fare in small town Kansas. Maybe this will give someone the idea.

  • Parachute425

    Parachute425 said 5 years ago


  • BlueBrushStudio

    BlueBrushStudio said 5 years ago

    What a great the hilarious gnome!

  • OnlyOriginalsByAJ

    OnlyOriginalsByAJ said 5 years ago

    I love the flamingo! Awesome! Thanks for sharing!

  • afteryourheartart

    afteryourheartart said 5 years ago

    I love the combat garden gnome!!!

  • EarthSeaWarrior

    EarthSeaWarrior said 5 years ago

    this roolz and that HEAD is awesomely creepy.

  • VintageZen

    VintageZen said 5 years ago

    that gnome is hilarious!

  • RoughGems

    RoughGems said 5 years ago

    Kitschy cool post! This seems fun to do, just need to get myself a lawn.

  • KnotYourNeedles

    KnotYourNeedles said 5 years ago

    I live out in the sticks, but I'm filing this away for my old lady years. I cannot wait to yell "Get off my lawn, you hooligans!" when I become a woman of a certain age. Hopefully I'll stop feeling like a goofy teenager by then as well.

  • myvintagecrush

    myvintagecrush said 5 years ago

    I need that doormat!!

  • tchaubella

    tchaubella said 5 years ago

    That garden gnome is awesome!!!

  • DogwoodWinter

    DogwoodWinter said 5 years ago

    Jennasredrhino knows about what I saw when I was in a fishing village in rural Alaska -- you could put Christmas lights on the stacks of dead vehicles and call it a Christmas "tree." There really aren't a lot of trees in Northern Alaska, either, so it would be welcome. Anyway, my mum has pink flamingos for her yard, but when I get to be a cranky old spinster, I'm going to make everything I can into planters -- wheelbarrows, sinks, toilets, teacups, everything. I'll be planting artichoke plants around them, too, so no one can steal them. XP

  • Spinarama

    Spinarama said 5 years ago

    Great idea with the cosmetology mannequins. I have one I use to display hats. Since I am not using it at the moment, instead of the head looking in windows from the outside, this head is looking out the right side of the window, on the the window sill, with her hat on, tilted in a way that it is facing towards the door. There is also a "no soliciting" sign on the left side of the window. Sure fire way to chase off missionaries.

  • solocosmo

    solocosmo said 5 years ago

    The Flamingo is fantastic!

  • cupcakegangster

    cupcakegangster said 5 years ago

    omgggggggggg tha gnome is too funny!!! lmao

  • jojosvintagecupboard

    jojosvintagecupboard said 5 years ago

    Neat stuff here!

  • pinksnakejewelry

    pinksnakejewelry said 5 years ago

    Super Post!!! OMG that Combat Garden Gnome.....

  • QuirkMuseum

    QuirkMuseum said 5 years ago

    When I moved into my house there was a 3 foot high stone obelisk in the front yard that was sorta phallic in shape. Not one to mess with karmic forces, it's still there.

  • steenoneill

    steenoneill said 5 years ago

    I sooo need to get the combat garden gnome for my little patio table. It would instantly inspire laughter when guests came over and saw it:)

  • DominiqueD

    DominiqueD said 5 years ago

    Is this in New Brunswick, Canada? Its the New Brunswick flag...

  • andiespecialtysweets

    andiespecialtysweets said 5 years ago

    Hahha ...I think there is only one thing to do, Michelle. You should buy the Combat Garden Gnome and point it right at the revolving snow globe. And, you should make a "dumpling" ornament for your first tree. First ornament? Really? Welcome.

  • RossLab

    RossLab said 5 years ago


  • TrueGemsByPatti

    TrueGemsByPatti said 5 years ago

    Love the gnome!

  • mazedasastoat

    mazedasastoat said 5 years ago

    I just love that Combat Garden Gnome. Where I live garden gnomes are a kind of traditional feature, although to be truly precise we call them Devon Piskies. There's even a "reserve" for them not far away where there are literally thousands of the pesky little varmints digging, wheeling wheelbarrows, fishing, etc. I've always half hoped one of them would one day go on a rampage with an assault rifle & litter the area with little flakes of plaster...

  • ShoeClipsOnly

    ShoeClipsOnly said 5 years ago

    My BF would love that garden Gnome! Cute items!

  • aimeere

    aimeere said 5 years ago

    My husband has limited me to one garden gnome. I'd like to have a whole village of them!! Fun Fun!!

  • stepbackink

    stepbackink said 5 years ago

    Good article.

  • LeftontheBeach

    LeftontheBeach said 5 years ago

    dare to be different, our house is not a home till we decorate it!

  • BurningHeartArt

    BurningHeartArt said 5 years ago

    Love the machine gun gnomie!

  • LittleWrenPottery

    LittleWrenPottery said 5 years ago

    Wow amazing finds as always, I love that bird house has so much character!

  • benarobinson

    benarobinson said 5 years ago

    Where are you from that you had dumplings and a matinee on Christmas? I'm just curious. I live in Russia at the moment and I'm really looking forward to New Year here, where I guess we'll eat and drink copious amounts until the morning of the first, and then go outside and stagger around in the snow. I eat dumplings (pelmeni) a lot here, too, so that's why I was curious. The gnome is awesome!

  • bodicegoddess

    bodicegoddess said 5 years ago

    My housemates keep talking about how much they want a lawn dinosaur - preferably a velociraptor. There's talk of decorating him for each holiday, too. A top hat for fancy ones, wrap him in Christmas lights, put on a cape... So many possibilities! But, for now, we'll have to stick with their two-year-old's "ghost friend" that's been out since Halloween.

  • StuffByKim

    StuffByKim said 5 years ago

    I love the Flamingo. The sky is the limit on those.

  • kathiroussel

    kathiroussel said 5 years ago

    wow-- combat garden gnome takes the cake-- perfect way to scare off unwanted holiday guests!

  • UglyBaby

    UglyBaby said 5 years ago

    There's an artist in Seattle - Kelly Lyles - who has a bunch of rocking horses in her yard. It's super creepy-cool looking at night.

  • RedFernVintage

    RedFernVintage said 5 years ago

    I sooo look forward to these.

  • 5erg

    5erg said 5 years ago

    Love the door mat :D Useful

  • BanglewoodSupplies

    BanglewoodSupplies said 5 years ago

    That is weird!

  • BigBadBuddha

    BigBadBuddha said 5 years ago

    I'm loving that Plastic Flamingo

  • Mclovebuddy

    Mclovebuddy said 5 years ago

  • tableclothpad

    tableclothpad said 5 years ago

    I love this post .

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